They refer to themselves as the "gay community" but when one of their own falls they all step back and let him hit the pavement with a thud.
So the simple fact was that when the 'you know what' hit the fan any gay friends I knew in Sydney during my 14 years with Ching Sim completely disappeared. They simple chose to pretend I had not existed. Sure I did try to call and email a couple of them a few times, but I never received replies.
In contrast gay friends I had made during that time overseas in New York, Canada and France all still remain in contact with me. We talk about our "today" lives and not about the past which is of course the best thing to do.
Yes I lost everything when Choi threw me out of the house. I lost all my family pictures that I had kept in photo albums (some of them were older than me), I lost any money I had saved because Choi insisted he control our finances. I had no furniture and only the clothes I could fit into a small bag.
Ching on the other hand moved out of the house with his new boyfriend to an apartment in the centre of Sydney called the "Lumiere Apartments" opposite Sydney Town Hall. I know this because I found a photocopy of the lease agreement the day I was packing my clothes (although the actual apartment number had been blacked out with a marker pen). I guess he wanted me to find it because he left it on the bed. Choi got all the furniture, all our money and all my personal possessions. I tried to get advise from people, but there was nowhere to turn. Legal advise was that I could do nothing because I wasn't in a legally recognised relationship and gay advocacy services simple had no idea what I should do.
I am fortunate to have some very good straight friends who during my hard times living in that shed visited me often and console me. They are still my closest friends to date and had it not been for the kindest of my heterosexual friends I think the road I had to travel would have been a much longer one.
Funny isn't it. They refer to themselves as the "gay community" but when one of their own falls they all step back and let him hit the pavement with a thud.
(to be continued...)